Daejeon or Gangwon?

I started this blog with the intention that it would help me organize my thoughts and experiences about living in NYC. Writing is cathartic for me and I don't devote the time I should. Maybe I thought that through writing about my day to week to month to year engagements in the city I would in turn find clarity and even possibly home. It's not that I haven't, it's more that in the search for this peace of mind place I'd like to call home, a need to travel exists. Without happiness we would not know sadness, good would know no evil and love is unfortunately paired with a certain type of pain. I must travel to the East to know the West and understand all the points in between. It's like the blip on a radar - I'm following it to a point in which it no longer blinks.

I got Korea. Yep, the whole country! Despite the discouragement conveyed in earlier posts, I spent the last month completing the application for public school teaching positions, interviewing, getting my documents ready and sending them to the government for review. I passed the interview stage which basically secures my position in a public school. I don't actually feel guaranteed a position despite the recruiter's assurance. Yet as all the cards point in the direction of Korea, I'm slowly coming around to the idea that come August, my daily commute to work will no longer consist of the L train and sights of the Chrysler Building from my apartment window will be replaced. I should have more details and confirmation in a week or two about where I'll live.

It's strange. I've wanted this without question for the past 6-9 months and I feel oddly apathetic. It's unnerving and sad. Each time I leave the US for an extended period of time I inevitably ask myself a series of questions and begin to see my lifestyle against a new background. I look at things and know they won't be an option in a few months but again, this is the beauty (for lack of a better word) of travel for me, of exploring a new culture-Finding something new to love or realizing what I had before was all I needed despite my doubt.

Anais Nin stated, "The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle." So I hope that in looking ahead and moving forward I'll catch that dream and carry it alongside.